


Overseer's Burden

by JQ (musicmillennia)



Series: The Ward Series [2]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Asexual Len, Asexual Mick, Bad Jokes, Crack, Fluff, M/M, Unicorns, utter crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-08 15:49:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7763788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicmillennia/pseuds/JQ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Mick, through unicorns, gets together with Leonard Snart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Overseer's Burden

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wfricke](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wfricke/gifts).



> This is pure idiocy tbh but I had fun and I hope you do too.

Mick was given charge over the horned wonders of the Gem Cities on account of the guys from Faerie calling him a, and he quotes, “permanent virgin.” So, basically, he's supposed to watch the unicorns because the higher ups are what we call “assholes.”

They do only follow virgins around, though. Don't ask Mick why; he might be Overseer, but spirits forbid the bastards tell him anything. Every time he asks, they fart a rainbow and prance to the next patch of grass. So he's left ignorant on the sidelines and annoyed as fuck.

The main part of his job is keeping the unicorns from doing anything stupid--which proves how stupid the guys from Faerie are, because who the fuck leaves Mick Rory as the voice of reason? Still, he hasn't been whacked on the hand or anything, so he supposes he's doing a passable job. Or the fae are shit at telling right from wrong. Either way, he's getting paid, so who cares?

There's also the part about keeping them away from virigins. Usually they stick to Mick, but sometimes one of them glues themselves to an innocent bystander, and Mick’ll be the first to tell you that having a unicorn at your side gets really old, really fast. Sure, they're fun to ride, but they're also lazy, vain, and ironically they fuck like rabbits. Enough children have been traumatized for Mick to keep an extra eye on them there.

However, there is one guy he'll let them chase.

  
  


The first time it happens, Leonard Snart is fourteen years old and chucked in juvie.

A bunch of unicorns line the Yard fence and walk with him until the guards put him in solitary for the outrageous idea of thinking he's trying to plan an escape. With unicorns.

Mick Rory, seventeen and newly appointed Overseer as of one year, clears the whole thing up. Or he tries to, but the guys at juvie think he's an accomplice to Snart and throw him in too. Fuckwits.

And so, Mick saves little Snart’s life, Mick finds the latest target virgin, tells him what happened, and they part ways with smirks on their faces and vague notions of seeing each other again sometime.

When Snart’s out early on good behavior, a unicorn nuzzles him and takes him home. Mick meets Lisa then, when the little girl is fawning and squealing over “her” unicorn. That's also the first time Mick looks Len in the face and knows he's fucked.

It's become a tradition for them: Mick lets a unicorn or a dozen slip away to find Len. Len, the moody asshole, promptly finds Mick and says something like “I think these belong to you.” They talk, they fight. It's awesome.

But it's been close to thirty years now, and Lenny’s still being followed.

Today, Mick, having absolutely no sense of filter, bluntly asks him, “Are you ever gonna have sex?”

Len leans against a bitch named Saffron and replies, “Why?”

Now Mick, he wants to say he's just curious. He's also been aware for 29+ years that he's fucked. Coming to this conclusion, he tilts his head and thinks with utmost sincerity, ‘Shit.’

Then he has an idea. A fucking brilliant idea.

With no small amount of pride, he turns the tables on Lenny. “Why do you think?”

Yeah. Let the bastard stew for a whi--

Len says, “I think you don't wanna know if I'm like you when it comes to sex so much as you wanna know if I have feelings for you. Sound about right?”

Damn it!

Mick crosses his arms. “And?”

But Len just turns around. As he leaves, he calls over his shoulder, “What do you think?”

That  _ motherfucker. _

“Jackass!”

“Be seeing you, Mick.”

 

Mick calls Lisa that night.

“Mick,” she says when he asks, like she's  _ sorry  _ for him, “of course he does. Did you honestly think Lenny likes being followed around by unicorns?”

...and, come to think of it, no, Len’s not the type to overindulge sunshine and rainbows. At all.

“Baby,” Lisa sighs, “no nonmagical being can track an Overseer down. Even if Lenny did have magic, the stuff he’d need is ancient. I should know; he’s tried already.”

“He has?”

Lisa groans. “ _ Mick. _ ”

Afterwards, Mick approaches Saffron and asks, “Does Snart ask you to bring him to see me?”

Saffron says, “Of course he does. He's in love with you.”

Mick smacks his ass. “Why didn't any of you assholes say somethin’?!”

“You didn't ask,” replies Sparks, as if that explains everything. “We are bound to answer all of your questions, Overseer. You need only present them to us.”

“In that case, how come you guys only go for virgins?”

They fart a double rainbow and trot away.

 

And so, after they burn down another building, Mick tells the unicorns, “Go get your favorite virgin.”

They're off with enthusiastic neighs.

 

“Snart, I--who the fuck’re you?”

Snow answers before the two idiots can: “I know you said favorite virgin, as in one, but I couldn't decide!”

One of ‘em, a short guy with ridiculous hair, says, “ _ Um _ .”

The other, a tall drink of water, says, “But Len’s not a virgin.”

Mick rounds on Len, who’s got this  _ smirk _ on his face as he replies, “Looks can be deceiving.  _ Barry _ .”

Oh,  _ fuck  _ no.

“Who's this bitch?” Mick snaps.

“Oh, a nemesis of mine,” Len drawls, “didn't I tell you? Barry and I go way back.”

As Barry splutters, “No we don't!” Mick growls, “He probably ain’t even half your age!”

Len smirks, “That's true, Mick. He's not like you.”

And--wha--he--

"Fuck you, Snart!”

“Oo, sorry. I don't fuck around.”

Fucking--

Len at least has the decency to meet Mick halfway for their kiss. The unicorns scuffle in congratulations before returning to their fucking and eating and whatever else. He tastes disgusting, a mix between mint and coffee, and for some reason he thinks it's cool to just pucker up and let Mick do all the work.

Basically it sucks, and Mick has to pull back way too soon.

“Have you ever kissed anyone?” Mick snaps.

Len smirks and asks, “What do you think?” all soft and stuff, like he thinks he's being all romantic and shit.

Mick says, “I think you suck at it.”

Len’s face darkens. “Barry didn't seem to think so.”

Mick speaks over Barry’s squawk, “Then he doesn't know what he's doing. Try it like this…”

Shorty asks, “Can we go home now?”

 

Len starts using unicorns and Mick in his heists. He's granted the title of Overseer too, proving once again that the fae have no idea what right and wrong mean.

The traitorous horses like Len way better than Mick. Mick knows not from the nuzzles and bows and fucking flower crowns, but from Len saying, “They really haven't told you why they only go for virgins, have they?”

Mick gripes, “They tell you?”

Len shrugs, “‘Course. I'm the Overseer; they gotta.”

Fucking really?

Mick says, “Yeah, well...how come?”

Len mounts Saffron. With a devious smile, he answers, “Spite.”

“...what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

Saffron farts a rainbow and canters off.

“ _ Snart _ !”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
